Tiers Exist ...sort of. (a rant about Smash Bros)

No Items. Fox Only. Final Destination.

There's a lot of talk amongst the (way, way too serious) Smash Bros "community" about tiers.  So-and-so is on this particular level on this tier list made by some guys on an internet forum. (right now Meta Knight is #1 on the Brawl list, apparently)

And you know what, they're probably right.

Sort of.

GAMES WITHIN GAMES

The version of Smash Bros that the tournament players play is not the same game that you typically play when you play Smash Bros.

I'm not talking about hacked versions, limited versions, NTSC or PAL versions, demo versions, or any other fundamentally different piece of software.  I'm talking about the rules that they play by. Hell, the rules anyone plays by.

Typically, in tournaments, they ban all items, and most stages. Every time you switch the 'on' or 'off' for an item or stage, or change any setting, you have altered the rules that you are playing by.  And the fundamental base of all games are rules. 

What makes Chess what it is?  The strategies, movements, everything arises because of the rules of Chess.  But if you alter the rules, you create a new version of Chess. And with no rules, Chess just becomes Calvinball. The same is of a videogame.

The variant of Smash Bros Brawl I play at home is different than the psuedo-tournaments I do for my anime club. That version is very different from the version they play in "real" tournaments - which has no items, only two players at a time, 3-stock, and a complicated stage selection system that I don't quite understand.

WHAT'S TIERS GOT TO DO WITH IT?

I acknowledge the existence of Tiers, or at very least that some characters will win more often - within the particular variant of Smash Bros that the tournament scene has created.  Do Tiers exist outside of these rules?  Most likely - but maybe not?

Smash Bros, in its purest form, where all items and all stages and all characters are allowed, is pretty damn close to Calvinball.  A match can dissolve into a whirlwind of chaos and this particular track from Rebuild of Evangelion 2.0 becomes pretty fitting. 

Tourneys create a particular game where it's only two players at a time, only three stock, no items, and such forth.  A game with items is very different than a game with items, four players is very different from two players.  

Here's an example:  Sonic vs. King Dedede

Sonic is fast, but he lacks KO power.  Dedede might not be fast, but he's got power -- part of an issue in Smash Bros is when a character lacks KO power, they are at a distinct disadvantage when it's one-on-one.

But let's try another theoretical match - Sonic in a 4-player match.

Now it's a different game - Since everyone's fighting everyone, players can pit the weaknesses and strengths against each other.  Sonic can wait for the heavier characters to have high damage before dashing in and stealing a KO, for example. (can you tell I like Sonic?) .  Naturally, other characters can exploit various situations, using the 'collision' mechanic to prevent other players from approaching, dodging attacks and allowing them to hit other players, and such forth.

And mix in items, and a whole host of new situations can arise that can work out for all sorts of characters in many ways - battering items can extend the attack range of characters and give "KO power" to those who don't, the bunny hood can help characters with poor recoveries and speed, and throwing/shooting items give projectile attacks to those who otherwise wouldn't.  While a random element is introduced, that's just the nature of (this version of) the game. An argument could be made that reacting to ever-changing situations and playing your opponents off of each other takes even more skill.

I do concede that some items and some stages are pretty 'cheap' or obnoxious. (Hammers, Mario Bros. stage, etc)

TL;DR - I have a theory that the game is more balanced if (certain) items are included.

For those who care, a link to a revised version of the particular ruleset my anime club uses/used.

Some context for the above ruleset:

I needed a set of rules for a club that meets for only 4 hours, most of the players are 'casual' players (and I'm a 'casual' player myself), and there's roughly only 90 minutes to 2 hours of time just for videogames. We had a tourney a while back using 'traditional' tournament rules and it lasted waaaaaaay too long.  I came up with a ruleset that would encourage fast-paced play, pump people through, and have four people playing at a time, and not allow for prolonged matches.

We've only done one tourney using these rules, but it was well-received and the tournament easily fit within the 90 minutes of videogame time, with some extra 'freeplay' time left over!

Focus On the Fail

When I feel like facepalming and loling at the same time, I read Focus on the Family's videogame reviews (under the name of  "Plugged In", but it's Focus On the Failmly, who epitomize "strict parenting", all the same) ... they never fail to entertain me in how backwards and idiotic they come off as in their quest to make the world "family friendly"

But TRUE hilarity is when the reviewer starts describing any 'sexual' content (read: cleavage) -- here's an example:
"Besides the ridiculously buffed guys with their shirts off, at least one woman flaunts her cleavage. A central character wears a dress that's slit up to her hip, revealing her massively muscular thighs. Cammy dresses in a high-cut leotard that leaves her backside completely exposed."

Somebody has a major boner for Chun-Li. I mean, wow... dude...  I wonder if this guy was the kid who fapped to Sears catalogs.

Additionally, their complete and total vitriol towards anything that's mythological or magical -- it's even funnier when you consider that C.S. Lewis, one of the most celebrated Christian authors, hell, just a damn good author, period - heavily drew upon mythology and magic in his works.

I wonder what Lewis would think of these folks.

For the lulz: A Guide to Christianese

I was raised Evangelical (currently some form of heretic and/or apostate) - some good things came from this (sense of honor, be loyal to your friends, don't let others decide what you believe, keep your word), and some bad things (a deep, deep, deep sense of shame about half of what I do, irrational fear of God) - one hilarious thing is the lulzy slang they used.  So here's a quick guide:

Nonchristian - There's some derision and pity behind this. while it does mean "a person who is not a Christian", it also includes: Catholics, Orthodox, Mormons, etc. etc.
The World - Anywhere that's outside of a: Church, Church Function, Bible Study or a Christian's home.
Secular - Sinful
Sinful - "I don't like it"
Sin - While it technically means "imperfection", and this is how it is used in the Bible, it usually just means "sexual impurity" when an Evangelical says it. It also means "Icky"
Sexual Impurity - Sex outside of marriage, homosexuality, sex when on The Pill, blowjobs, anal, bondage, piercings in funny places, doggy style, sex in a chair, masturbation, and suchforth. (tl;dr - Anything fun)
Thought Life - Particularly annoying phrase with a nebulous meaning, it functionally refers to this abstract world of your thoughts; and how you can't think about certain things.
Fellowship - Potluck dinner
Outreach - Potluck dinner with preaching.
Pornographic - Anything mildly titillating.
Violent - Anything mildly aggressive
"I was in the Spirit" - I was in an irrational, delirious state.
"I'm on fire for the Lord" - "I'm going to go to every church function possible, mention Jesus as much as possible,  and stop associating with you because you're not as good as me."
Retreat - Basically a day or more of feeling horrible about yourself.
Youth Retreat - A Retreat for kiddies where they're yelled at about how God hates them because they touch themselves. (...they'll stop for a few days, but then resume after that)
The Flesh - In the Bible it roughly means the inherent weakness of human beings. Christians use it to indicate things like: Individuality, Own Desires, etc. etc. that must be squelched.
Fasting - Starving yourself to win some Jesus Points
Speaking in Tongues - Starving yourself/working yourself up into such an emotional lather that you start blabbering. This is a sign of...
Baptism Of The Holy Spirit - Some nebulous concept that indicates that someone is better than you.
Purity - Virginity. Also includes not touching yourself.
The End Times - A period of time that we're apparently in where the world is going to fall apart and then Jesus is gonna come back and kill everyone we don't like.
The Rapture - An unbiblical concept created from three passages in different books of the Bible, all of them referring to totally different things.  Basically Jesus is gonna beam us up and then the world's gonna fall to pieces.
Christian ____ - A watered down version of something 'secular' that's no longer 'sinful' because it mentions Jesus somewhere.
The Antichrist - "Whatever political figure we dislike at this moment in time." and/or The Pope.
Babylon - Current enemy of the United States, although some say it's the Catholic Church.
Saved/Accepting Christ/Born Again - Nebulous concept that is constantly argued about. Basically is the 'salvation by faith' doctrine.
Witnessing - Pushing your beliefs onto someone.
Spiritual Gifts - The idea that some people get superpowers  'gifts from the Lord', typically involves healing, prophecy, and the like. The original verse (too lazy to look it up) they use to support it actually is more along the lines of: "God's given you talents so you can use them to help people."
Hell - The bad place that bad people we don't like go.
Backslide - To fall into sin again, typically means you had deviant sex.
"How is your Walk with the Lord?" - "How you doin'?"
"She is a Godly Woman" - "I wanna do her."

In case you haven't gathered by now, Evangelicals are pretty fixated on three things:
* The Apocalypse
* Sex
* Being part of a super special group of super special people

--

I should clarify that I really don't hold any deep hatred for Evangelicals. It's kind of hard to when you realize that a good chunk of them are some of the most helpful, kind people on the planet.... but once either the Apocalypse, Sex or challenging their ideas comes into the picture ... hoo boy.